Prince Harry in 80s TV remake…

To tweet, or not to tweet…

To tweet, or not to tweet? – that is the question.
Whether ’tis nobler when online to suffer
The links and follows of outrageous sycophants
Or to get arsey with the LOLs and ROFLs
And by unfollowing, offend them? To leave, to tweet
No more; and by a leave to say we end
The hashtags and the thousand hateful trolls
That Twitter’s home to. T’is a cancellation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To tweet, to leave.
To leave: perchance to meme! Ay, there’s the rub;
For in that tweetless death what faves may come
When we have wearied of this microblog
Must give us pause…

The Lord (of Twitter)’s Prayer

Arbiter
Of taste on Twitter
Followed be thy n@me
Thy #ff done
For thy showbiz chums
All week as it is on Friday
Give us each day your cosy set
And forgive us our jealousies
As we forgive those who subtweet against you
And feed us not into your timeline
Nor deliver us a mention
For thine is the Twitter
The column and the book deal
For #ff and #ff
RT.